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Due Date quotes

Peter Highman: Okay, it's the Super Bowl. You're a coach with a spotty career. You are down 31-0 at halftime and you need to motivate your team.
Ethan Tremblay: That wouldn't work in a movie.
Peter Highman: You kidding me? It's in a movie every two years. (Ethan walks out of the bathroom)
Ethan Tremblay: (Ethan storms back into the bathroom) Come on guys! You, Allan, you're playing like a girl out there. What are you, a girl or something? You, Smith, what are you, a girl or something?
Peter Highman: Okay, your wife calls. She wants a divorce.
Ethan Tremblay: The coach's wife?
Peter Highman: Yes, the coach. The character you're playing.
Ethan Tremblay: Come on, guys. (Ethan picks up his phone)
Ethan Tremblay: Hold on a minute, guys. Hello? What? You're leaving me? No! I can't have this happening to me. My dad died, and now this.

Charlie Harper: You got any more pot?
Ethan Tremblay: Not for $9 an hour I don't... I mean, I don't know what you're talking about.

Ethan Tremblay: (rehearsing a monologue from The Godfather)
Heidi: That was really good, especially the second paragraph about the killing.
Barry: Really good.
Heidi: Did you write that?
Ethan Tremblay: No, the mafia did.

Ethan Tremblay: (from trailer) (talking to a can full of his dad's ashes)
Ethan Tremblay: Dad... You were like a father to me.

Peter Highman: I'm sorry I spat on your dog. I have no recollection of that.

Peter Highman: I'm telling you. I wouldn't make it up.
Ethan Tremblay: You sure? I could've sworn I read it was man-made.
Peter Highman: Nope. Not correct. Very old. Formed over time. Grand Canyon. Known fact.
Ethan Tremblay: Peter, I have a photogenic memory. I have recall for...
Peter Highman: Ethan, I promise you. It's old. It's the Grand Canyon, it's not Hoover Dam.
Ethan Tremblay: Well, I know it's not the Hoover Dam, that was built by the Pilgrims.
Peter Highman: Also incorrect.

Peter Highman: I didn't sleep last night. I'm gonna try now.
Ethan Tremblay: Well you really should have masturbated, cuz I had a glorious or**** and I slept like a baby.

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