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Desperately Seeking Susan quotes

Gary: Are you a lesbian? Leslie says that nine out of ten prostitutes are lesbians.
Roberta: Gary, you're not listening to me. I'm not a prostitute or a lesbian!

Gary: Roberta can't be a prostitute she doesn't even like sex that much. It's impossible.

Susan: (answering Gary Glass's phone) Glass house!

Leslie: I can't believe the two of you are eating in the middle of a crisis like this.
Gary: We're nervous, what do you want...
Leslie: Then take a Valium like a normal person.

Crystal: I'm ready to quit this dump, I really am. Ray won't let me wear my glasses on stage, then Ian gets pi**** because I can't do any of the tricks, I mean I'm only legally blind. I could understand if I wanted to wear my glasses on my ti**, but nobody in this dump is looking at my face anyway.

Dez: Some guy grabbed you?
Roberta: Yes, he was after me. Well, not me exactly. He was after Susan, who he thinks I am, but I'm not!

Gary: Susan! What are you doing?
Susan: I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Gary: You said you were going to leave!
Susan: All right, good news first. Roberta's not working with the greaseball.
Gary: My wife just got picked up on the lower east side escaping from her gun-toting pimp.
Susan: He's not a pimp. Problem is, he's probably going to try to kill her because he thinks she's me.

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