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Creepshow quotes

Charlie Gereson: (Professor Stanley tells Charlie about the creature in the crate) Pretty far out, Professor Stanley...
Professor Dexter Stanley: It's true! It's true - I swear it's true! We got to get Campus Security...
Charlie Gereson: (Charlie cuts him off) Campus Security's no good! If I'm having trouble swallowing this one, what the fu** are THEY going to think?
Professor Dexter Stanley: (calming down) ... I don't know... what they'd think...
Charlie Gereson: They'd think you'd been off on a hell of a toot. No, they'd think we'd BOTH been off on a hell of a toot, and got to seeing Tasmanian devils instead of pink elephants.
Charlie Gereson: (Charlie decides to go downstairs to investigate) I think I'll just go down and see how the land lays...
Professor Dexter Stanley: (in a panic) It may be OUT!
Charlie Gereson: (complacent) Oh, I uh - I doubt that.
Professor Dexter Stanley: CHARLIE!
Charlie Gereson: Be right back, Professor Stanley!

Jordy: Oh, Jordy Verrill, you lunkhead!

Upson Pratt: (alarmed) Orlando? Florida?
Upson Pratt: I don't give a fu** if you decided to take the kids to Attica this year. There are still roaches in this place, Reynolds. I killed one not five minutes ago.
Upson Pratt: Do you like your job, Reynolds?
Upson Pratt: Do you like your job, Reynolds?
Upson Pratt: I'm glad to hear it because I want to see White.
Upson Pratt: And if I don't see White and then the exterminators in the span of a half an hour you will have no job by midnight tonight. Do you understand me? Then next year you can take the wife and kids to Disney World on your fu***** welfare check. Have you got that? Are we together on this?

Jordy Verrill: Meteor sh**!

Richard Vickers: Come on Harry, the maiden fair waits for her knight in shining corduroy.

Jordy's Dad: (Appearing in the mirror) Jordy.
Jordy: Daddy?
Jordy's Dad: Jordy.
Jordy: (Turns around and sees no one and turns back to the mirror) But you're dead. You've been dead... Christ... three years almost.
Jordy's Dad: You ain't gonna get in that tub, are you? It's the water that it wants, Jordy. Don't you know that?
Jordy: Daddy, it itches! This green stuff all over me is ten thousand times worse then poison ivy! It's driving me crazy! I gotta cool off!
Jordy's Dad: If you get in that water, Jordy... you might as well sign your death warrant!
Jordy: I'm a goner already, Daddy. Ain't I? I've got that stuff out of the meteor on me... and I'm gone. Ain't I?

Jordy: That's a meteor. I'll be dipped in sh** if that ain't a meteor!

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