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Couples Retreat quotes

Joey: When you're living in my house, you're a Taliban! Okay? You keep your body a secret. Except you get to, you know, go to school and read books.

Salvadore: Please, allow me to put on something more proper.

Dave: I am going to be the biggest as* ever.

Dave: You own a zebra, I own a goat, what the hell does that have to do with cheating on your wife?

Dave: You got a pose called yoga guy gets his as* kicked? Cause that's my favorite one.

Sctanley: My name is Sctanley, spelled with a C.

Jason: What if someone put a gun to your head right now and said, "You have to answer this second or I'II shoot. "Are they going to make it?" What do you say? What would you say?
Therapist #2: Whoa! Okay, no one has a gun to my head, Mr. Smith.
Jason: It's hypothetical.
Therapist #2: It's not a place for inappropriate behavior. And you definitely don't pull a hypothetical gun on your therapist!

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