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Cheaper by the Dozen quotes

Tom: (phoning a "nanny" service - middle of calls) How many kids do I have? Twelve, but one doesn't live with me and one you never see cuz he's so mad. (next call)
Tom: I have 2 kids, plus 10. (last call)
Tom: Hello, I'll just hang up on myself. (hangs the phone up)

Tom: You have a dark gift, Sarah Baker.

Kate: Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted, so you're going today.
Sarah Baker: Yes!
Kate: Henry, you have band practice, all right? I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class. Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And please, honey, remember that body parts do not count. Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at three o'clock, so you're going to work with Dad.
Nigel Baker: Yeah! (yells)
Tom: (yells)

Lorraine: For the record, I am so over Nora's hand-me-downs.
Kate: All right. You look gorgeous in anything, Lorraine.

Jake: Dude, two words: need new skates.
Kate: Dude, three words: paper route.

Sarah Baker: Release the hound!

Lorraine: (walks into kitchen) I am totally aware that this family doesn't value self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do. Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals aside from being, like, a fashion guru is to indicate to the local community that the Baker family actually owns a bar of soap. So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene, I think that I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror.
Tom: Three.
Lorraine: Done.
Tom: Good now help your sister butter the toast.

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