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(Eddie has just told Gwen he's "not technically" seeing anyone) Well, that's fascinating. "Not technically"... hmm. That's, uh, that's sad, really. That's, uh... that's a shame. (Kiki slams her frying pan on the table in front of Gwen)
Here are your eggs, my darling sister, I hope that's runny enough for you. And you, you son of a bi***! (Kiki dumps the eggs in Eddie's lap)
Here are your eggs! There you go!
What the hell is wrong with you, Kiki?
A lot, actually, and you know, I cannot believe that it's taken me this long to figure it out! And... and... and I'm going to go for a long walk now, just to simmer down. But before I do, I would just like to cut through the bullshit. You see, sister, the reason why he's not *technically* seeing anyone is because he's still *technically* hung up on you. (turns to Eddie)
And you, you... moron! The only reason she's here, besides trying to salvage her precious career, is to serve you with divorce papers. There, I've said it! I've done all I can do here. I'm going for a walk because that's, you know... leaving is just something that I've really perfected over the years. And so, once more, with feeling! (Kiki storms out)
She was so much more fun when she was fat.
(imitating Gwen) Kiki? Kiki-kins? Who's smoking? I smell smoke. Is someone smoking within a six mile radius of where I'm standing? Stop them, Kiki, stop them!
Ladies and gentlemen, here they are... Eddie and Gwen, together again! America's Sweethearts.
What are they, out of butter? How can you run out of butter.
Well, I have one theory...
You know what? I need an assistant, because if I had an assistant, she would be outside right now MILKING A COW and I would never, EVER, run out of butter!
Will you please go talk to your sister? You're the only one she'll pretend to listen to.
(sighs) Where is she?
(to Gwen's Dobberman) na** ba*****!
It's him. On the phone.
I'll kill him! That sick son-of-a-bi*** ba*****! Put him on the speaker! (Lee turns on the speaker)
(sweetly) Hi, Hal! How are you, darling? You're in my thoughts. I want to send you a basket.
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