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Americas Sweethearts quotes

Kiki: (Eddie has just told Gwen he's "not technically" seeing anyone) Well, that's fascinating. "Not technically"... hmm. That's, uh, that's sad, really. That's, uh... that's a shame. (Kiki slams her frying pan on the table in front of Gwen)
Kiki: Here are your eggs, my darling sister, I hope that's runny enough for you. And you, you son of a bi***! (Kiki dumps the eggs in Eddie's lap)
Kiki: Here are your eggs! There you go!
Gwen: What the hell is wrong with you, Kiki?
Kiki: A lot, actually, and you know, I cannot believe that it's taken me this long to figure it out! And... and... and I'm going to go for a long walk now, just to simmer down. But before I do, I would just like to cut through the bullshit. You see, sister, the reason why he's not *technically* seeing anyone is because he's still *technically* hung up on you. (turns to Eddie)
Kiki: And you, you... moron! The only reason she's here, besides trying to salvage her precious career, is to serve you with divorce papers. There, I've said it! I've done all I can do here. I'm going for a walk because that's, you know... leaving is just something that I've really perfected over the years. And so, once more, with feeling! (Kiki storms out)
Gwen: She was so much more fun when she was fat.

Kiki: (imitating Gwen) Kiki? Kiki-kins? Who's smoking? I smell smoke. Is someone smoking within a six mile radius of where I'm standing? Stop them, Kiki, stop them!

Lee: Ladies and gentlemen, here they are... Eddie and Gwen, together again! America's Sweethearts.

Kiki: What are they, out of butter? How can you run out of butter.
Lee: Well, I have one theory...
Kiki: You know what? I need an assistant, because if I had an assistant, she would be outside right now MILKING A COW and I would never, EVER, run out of butter!

Lee: Will you please go talk to your sister? You're the only one she'll pretend to listen to.
Kiki: (sighs) Where is she?
Lee: Grazing.

Lee: (to Gwen's Dobberman) na** ba*****!

Lee: It's him. On the phone.
Kingman: Who?
Lee: Hal.
Kingman: I'll kill him! That sick son-of-a-bi*** ba*****! Put him on the speaker! (Lee turns on the speaker)
Kingman: (sweetly) Hi, Hal! How are you, darling? You're in my thoughts. I want to send you a basket.

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