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Lines and quotes from the movie American Beauty. Check out our collection of dialogues and quotes from the film American Beauty and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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American Beauty quotes

Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.

Jane Burnham: I need a father who's a role model, not some ho*** geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school. What a lame-o. Someone really should just put him out of his misery.
Ricky Fitts: Want me to kill him for you?
Jane Burnham: Yeah. Would you?

Lester Burnham: I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and I don't complain.
Carolyn Burnham: Oh, you don't complain? Then please, excuse me, I must be psychotic, then! If you don't complain, what is this? Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets.
Lester Burnham: (Lester throws the asparagus plate at the wall) Don't interrupt me, honey!
Lester Burnham: (sits back down to eat) Oh, yeah, and one more thing, from now on we're going to have alternate dinner music because frankly - and I don't think I'm alone here... (looks in Jane's direction)
Lester Burnham: I'm tired of this Lawrence Welk sh**!

Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here.
Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience.
Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago!
Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.

Ricky Fitts: Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.

Lester Burnham: So, Janie, how was school?
Jane Burnham: It was okay.
Lester Burnham: Just okay?
Jane Burnham: No, Dad, it was spectacular.

Lester Burnham: My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.

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