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Lines and quotes from the movie A Christmas Story. Check out our collection of dialogues and quotes from the film A Christmas Story and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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A Christmas Story quotes

Ralphie as Adult: First-nighters, packed earmuff-to-earmuff, jostled in wonderment before a golden, tinkling display of mechanized, electronic joy!

Mr. Parker: Dadgummit! Blow out! (on the highway, the car has gotten a flat tire)
Mr. Parker: Ah ha! (excitedly gets out of the car)
Mother: Not again.
Mr. Parker: Four minutes. Time me.
Ralphie as Adult: (narrating) Actually the Old Man loved it. He had always pictured himself in the pits of the Indianapolis Speedway in the 500. My old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic sense. They were round, they had once been made of rubber.

Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah.

Ralphie as Adult: (narrating) Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

The Old Man: (shouting) Don't anybody move! Hold it right there! The fuse is out.

Ralphie as Adult: (narrating, after BB gun shot bounces off target and hits his face) Oh my god, I shot my eye out!

Mr. Parker: You filty sicken hook-aid! Oh, smelly wok buster! Grout shell fratten house stickle fifer! You bladder puss nut grafter! Dorton hoper...
Ralphie as Adult: What happened next was a family controversy for years.
Mr. Parker: You wart mundane noodle! You shotten shifter paskabah! You snort tonguer! Lame monger snaffa shell cocker! (the sound of the lamp breaking is heard)

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