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Lines and quotes from the movie A Christmas Story. Check out our collection of dialogues and quotes from the film A Christmas Story and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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A Christmas Story quotes

Mr. Parker: So what else happened today?
Mother: Oh, nothing much. Ralphie had a fight?
Mr. Parker: A fight? What kind of a fight? (Looks at Ralphie)
Mother: Oh, you know how boys are. I gave him a talking to... (Looks at the news paper)
Mother: Uh I see that the Bears are playing Green Bay on Sunday.
Mr. Parker: What? Oh yeah! Zudock's got tickets I wish I had. Aw well, let him freeze his keister off out there.

Ralphie as Adult: (narrating) The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory.
Mr. Parker: Oh, look at that! Will you look at that? Isn't that glorious? It's... it's... it's indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!

Ralphie: Heh, I was just kidding, even though Schwartz is getting one. I guess I'd just like some Tinker Toys.
Ralphie as Adult: (narrating) I couldn't believe my own ears. Tinker Toys? She'd never buy it.

Mr. Parker: Get the glue.
Mother: We're out of glue.
Mr. Parker: You used up all the glue on purpose!

Ralphie as Adult: (regarding the note on his report) Oh, no! "You'll shoot your eye out!"?
Ralphie: Oh, no!
Ralphie as Adult: My mother must have gotten to Miss Shields! There could be no other explanation!
Miss Shields: (in Ralphie's fantasy, Miss Shields is dressed as the Wicked Witch and Ralphie's mother as a jester, both chanting) "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ralphie as Adult: Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?

Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
Ralphie as Adult: (narrating) Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
Mr. Parker: (stunned) *What* did you say?
Ralphie: Uh, um...
Mr. Parker: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
Ralphie as Adult: (narrating) It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.

Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.

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