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So what else happened today?
Oh, nothing much. Ralphie had a fight?
A fight? What kind of a fight? (Looks at Ralphie)
Oh, you know how boys are. I gave him a talking to... (Looks at the news paper)
Uh I see that the Bears are playing Green Bay on Sunday.
What? Oh yeah! Zudock's got tickets I wish I had. Aw well, let him freeze his keister off out there.
(narrating) The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory.
Oh, look at that! Will you look at that? Isn't that glorious? It's... it's... it's indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!
Heh, I was just kidding, even though Schwartz is getting one. I guess I'd just like some Tinker Toys.
(narrating) I couldn't believe my own ears. Tinker Toys? She'd never buy it.
Get the glue.
We're out of glue.
You used up all the glue on purpose!
(regarding the note on his report) Oh, no! "You'll shoot your eye out!"?
My mother must have gotten to Miss Shields! There could be no other explanation!
(in Ralphie's fantasy, Miss Shields is dressed as the Wicked Witch and Ralphie's mother as a jester, both chanting) "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?
(narrating) Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
(stunned) *What* did you say?
That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
(narrating) It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.
I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
No, you'll shoot your eye out.
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