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Selected quotes by Woody Allen. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Woody Allen and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Woody Allen quotes

Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

Woody Allen
What is so fascinating about a group of pituitary cases trying to stuff the ball through a hoop?

Woody Allen
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?

Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Woody Allen
As the poet said, Only God can make a tree - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

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