PlentyQuotes

Selected quotes by Lenny Bruce. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Lenny Bruce and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

Quotes by Author: A · B · C · D · E · F · G · H · I · J · K · L · M · N · O · P · Q · R · S · T · U · V · W · X · Y · Z

Movies by Year: 2015 · 2014 · 2013 · 2012 · 2011 · 2010 · 2009 · 2008 · 2007 · 2006 · 2005 · 2004 · 2003 · 2002 · MORE..

Lenny Bruce quotes

Lenny Bruce
A lot of people say to me, Why did you kill Christ? I dunno... it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.

Lenny Bruce
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. Really.

Lenny Bruce
Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as descended from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary but you and I know what a Jew is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And although there should be a statute of limitations for that crime, it seems that those who neither have the actions nor the gait of Christians, pagan or not, will bust us out, unrelenting dues, for another deuce.

Lenny Bruce
The thing with Catholicism, the same as all religions, is that it teaches what should be, which seems rather incorrect. This is what should be. Now, if you're taught to live up to a what should be that never existed - only an occult superstition, no proof of this should be - then you can sit on a jury and indict easily, you can cast the first stone, you can burn Adolf Eichmann, like that!

Lenny Bruce
Everyday people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Lenny Bruce
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

Lenny Bruce
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm going to be if I grow up'.

Previous   1 | 2   Next