PlentyQuotes

Selected quotes by Jerry Seinfeld. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Jerry Seinfeld and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

Quotes by Author: A · B · C · D · E · F · G · H · I · J · K · L · M · N · O · P · Q · R · S · T · U · V · W · X · Y · Z

Movies by Year: 2015 · 2014 · 2013 · 2012 · 2011 · 2010 · 2009 · 2008 · 2007 · 2006 · 2005 · 2004 · 2003 · 2002 · MORE..

Jerry Seinfeld quotes

Jerry Seinfeld
A twoyear old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Jerry Seinfeld
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Jerry Seinfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Jerry Seinfeld
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Jerry Seinfeld
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Jerry Seinfeld
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication... Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?