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Selected quotes by Henny Youngman. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Henny Youngman and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Henny Youngman quotes

Henny Youngman
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

Henny Youngman
If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.

Henny Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.

Henny Youngman
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

Henny Youngman
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up.. they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

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