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Groucho Marx quotes

Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.

Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, Yes, you know he is a crook.

Groucho Marx
There is one way to find out if a man is honest ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.

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