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Selected quotes by Garrison Keillor. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Garrison Keillor and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Garrison Keillor quotes

Garrison Keillor
One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.

Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose

Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fiftydollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.

Garrison Keillor
You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.

Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.

Garrison Keillor
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.

Garrison Keillor
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.

Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.

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