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Selected quotes by Fred Allen. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Fred Allen and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Fred Allen quotes

Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fred Allen
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

Fred Allen
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

Fred Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Fred Allen
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Fred Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

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