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Selected quotes by Dave Barry. Check out our extensive collection of quotations and sayings from Dave Barry and search our website for thousands of other quotes on various topics from a great variety of authors, movies and tv shows.

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Dave Barry quotes

Dave Barry
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Dave Barry
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!

Dave Barry
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Dave Barry
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Dave Barry
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

Dave Barry
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.

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